Ever since my daughter could utter the word, she has always referred to both myself and Gavin as da,da. To begin with it was funny, after a few more months it became mildly amusing, a few more months later and it is now ever so slightly annoying and frustrating. If one more person looks at me sympathetically, whilst trying to reassure me that it's because 'da,da' is such an easy word, I'll scream. Never mind the fact that my daughter has an ever increasing vocabulary that includes the words 'tickle, tickle'.
You see my daughter can say ma,ma, I have heard her. She walks around the house repeatedly murmuring to herself da,da...ma,ma...nana...ba,ba. And if you point to a photo of me she will immediately utter the words 'ma,ma'. However she still refers to me as da,da when calling for me, when saying goodbye or goodnight. And no matter how many times myself, Gavin, my mother, Gavin's mother or any other array of family members respond with 'no Emily MA, MA' she still just smiles that cheeky grin and with a twinkle in her eye opens her mouth and utters 'ahhh......... da,da'.
Only 17 months old and already a comedian...
Sunday, 19 September 2010
Monday, 6 September 2010
Tantrums and tears
Emily is now 16½ months old and has recently aquired a new word in her ever expanding vocabulary. The word is 'no' and she is not afraid to use it, all the time, all day every day in fact and it would seem she understands very well in what context this word can be used. And in a strangely conincidial turn of events it would seem that when mummy uses the same word on her, it no longer has the same effect as it once did.
Oh dear!
People are forever telling me how much she looks like her daddy. This is very true, apart from the eyes (which are definitely mine) she is almost a daddy double. However she may look like Gavin but when it comes to her personality that's me...all me. Her temper, her hot hotheadedness, her stubbornness, her sensitivity. I can foresee plenty of tantrums and tears ahead of us and that will just be me! My mother and I had a very similar relationship, when I was young, growing up, throughout my childhood and into my adolescence!! huh...well at least we get on now.
Oh dear!
People are forever telling me how much she looks like her daddy. This is very true, apart from the eyes (which are definitely mine) she is almost a daddy double. However she may look like Gavin but when it comes to her personality that's me...all me. Her temper, her hot hotheadedness, her stubbornness, her sensitivity. I can foresee plenty of tantrums and tears ahead of us and that will just be me! My mother and I had a very similar relationship, when I was young, growing up, throughout my childhood and into my adolescence!! huh...well at least we get on now.
Sunday, 5 September 2010
Extremely dangerous. Keep out of reach of children.
"Fifi and the flowers grow, Fifi forget me not, Fifi it's a lovely day, Fifi, Fifi grows."
Well someone was working hard when they sat down to write that little ditty weren't they!
Children toy's are the bane of any parents existence. The person/people that design them take some of the most innane, annoying, repeative music and put them into toys. Toys with bright colours and flashing lights that are designed to entice children into playing with them and repeatly pressing that button, again and again and again and again until you can't bear it anymore! "I can't do I tell you, I cannot listen to that terrible electronic version of 'Old Macdonald' any longer." you scream as you race across the room, rip the toy from your unsuspecting child's hand and launch it through the open window...oh no that's just me then?! No in reality my choice of solution is much simplier, turn it off. Because that is the one, redeaming feature of these toys, it is the toy manufactuers saving grace, the OFF switch.
So when a friend of mine recently came for a visit, having just made a visit to the grandparents to celebrate his son's 1st birthday. His partner turns to me, fake smile plastered to her face, a hint of sarcasm in her voice and tells me,
"James parents have bought Jacob a huge child-size toy train, that moves on it own, plays music and makes lots of interesting sounds" to which I reply
"Oh how lovely, hours of fun!"
"hummm yes, fun, right...oh and guess what?"
"What?"
"There's no OFF switch!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Well someone was working hard when they sat down to write that little ditty weren't they!
Children toy's are the bane of any parents existence. The person/people that design them take some of the most innane, annoying, repeative music and put them into toys. Toys with bright colours and flashing lights that are designed to entice children into playing with them and repeatly pressing that button, again and again and again and again until you can't bear it anymore! "I can't do I tell you, I cannot listen to that terrible electronic version of 'Old Macdonald' any longer." you scream as you race across the room, rip the toy from your unsuspecting child's hand and launch it through the open window...oh no that's just me then?! No in reality my choice of solution is much simplier, turn it off. Because that is the one, redeaming feature of these toys, it is the toy manufactuers saving grace, the OFF switch.
So when a friend of mine recently came for a visit, having just made a visit to the grandparents to celebrate his son's 1st birthday. His partner turns to me, fake smile plastered to her face, a hint of sarcasm in her voice and tells me,
"James parents have bought Jacob a huge child-size toy train, that moves on it own, plays music and makes lots of interesting sounds" to which I reply
"Oh how lovely, hours of fun!"
"hummm yes, fun, right...oh and guess what?"
"What?"
"There's no OFF switch!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
You'd better stop rewind...
When did I start doing everything backwards? I always seem to adopt the more unconventional approach to life, not really through choice but more through habit. I have always done everything out of order so it has become the norm.
Like having the child first, before the engagement, the wedding, the house. Even my DIY is out of wack, decorate a room, replace the carpet and then get the new windows!! It like I cannot help but put the horse before the cart, it's just my nature.
My bestfriend is getting married next weekend, they met, they fell in love, they moved into together, they got engaged and now they will get married and after that...well that's up to them I guess. So is that how it's all still done? Everytime I go on Facebook someone is getting engaged, planning their hen/stag do or counting down the days till their wedding day. Whereas I just made the mutual decision to put off my wedding (indefinitely) because a: we cannot afford it and b: cannot be bothered to organise it. Everytime I think about it I can feel my stress levels rise and all I want to do is go lie down in a quiet room until the noise in my head subsides. Not good right?! I just don't think I am bride material, marriage material maybe? If I don't have to organise anything...maybe we could apply for 'Don't tell the Bride'?
Like having the child first, before the engagement, the wedding, the house. Even my DIY is out of wack, decorate a room, replace the carpet and then get the new windows!! It like I cannot help but put the horse before the cart, it's just my nature.
My bestfriend is getting married next weekend, they met, they fell in love, they moved into together, they got engaged and now they will get married and after that...well that's up to them I guess. So is that how it's all still done? Everytime I go on Facebook someone is getting engaged, planning their hen/stag do or counting down the days till their wedding day. Whereas I just made the mutual decision to put off my wedding (indefinitely) because a: we cannot afford it and b: cannot be bothered to organise it. Everytime I think about it I can feel my stress levels rise and all I want to do is go lie down in a quiet room until the noise in my head subsides. Not good right?! I just don't think I am bride material, marriage material maybe? If I don't have to organise anything...maybe we could apply for 'Don't tell the Bride'?
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Me, myself and Emily
We endeavor, as parents, to send our children out into the world better people then we, ourselves, would claim to be. We strive to put right in our children the sins of our parents because as Philip Larkin proclaimed:
"They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you."
With every generation that is born, there are parents fumbling and stumbling their way through. Trying desperately to teach their children, trying hopelessly not to repeat the mistakes of their predecessors. And yet so much of who we are is a reaction to the world around us and so, just as our parents did with us, we will inevitably leave our mark on our children.
Having grown up in not the most conventional of households (less said about all that the better) and with my mother and father separating when I was fourteen, my relationship with my father has always been a very strained one. We just never really clicked, I have learnt, with age, to except it and him just as they are. However it left me with a urgent need to ensure that the father of my child, whoever he may be, would be everything to my child that my father could never be to me. This above all other things was of extreme importance to me.
My mother relayed to me the fact that she never felt particularly settled or secure as a child, what with an alcoholic father and a workoholic mother (by necessity), the arguments, the constant tension, the abandonment of by her mother at the age of 11 (?) and her return only to be moved 200 miles south to the coast where she knew no-one, spoke with a funny accent and no longer got to see her father. So it became of great importance to my mother that her children felt secure, safe and cherished. And she tried her utmost to achieve this through her actions, words of encouragement and her support. Shame she married a man that didn't want children, but 'hey' nobody's perfect. All joking aside, she definitely strived to improve the lives of her children to make their world just a little brighter and a little warmer then hers had been. And with every generation that is what we strive for and who knows if we continue maybe one day we will have a race of people in complete harmony with each other and themselve. Well we can dream, right?!
Any way you look at it, the great debate of nature versus nurture can continue and you have to wonder what mark you will leave on your children?
"They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you."
With every generation that is born, there are parents fumbling and stumbling their way through. Trying desperately to teach their children, trying hopelessly not to repeat the mistakes of their predecessors. And yet so much of who we are is a reaction to the world around us and so, just as our parents did with us, we will inevitably leave our mark on our children.
Having grown up in not the most conventional of households (less said about all that the better) and with my mother and father separating when I was fourteen, my relationship with my father has always been a very strained one. We just never really clicked, I have learnt, with age, to except it and him just as they are. However it left me with a urgent need to ensure that the father of my child, whoever he may be, would be everything to my child that my father could never be to me. This above all other things was of extreme importance to me.
My mother relayed to me the fact that she never felt particularly settled or secure as a child, what with an alcoholic father and a workoholic mother (by necessity), the arguments, the constant tension, the abandonment of by her mother at the age of 11 (?) and her return only to be moved 200 miles south to the coast where she knew no-one, spoke with a funny accent and no longer got to see her father. So it became of great importance to my mother that her children felt secure, safe and cherished. And she tried her utmost to achieve this through her actions, words of encouragement and her support. Shame she married a man that didn't want children, but 'hey' nobody's perfect. All joking aside, she definitely strived to improve the lives of her children to make their world just a little brighter and a little warmer then hers had been. And with every generation that is what we strive for and who knows if we continue maybe one day we will have a race of people in complete harmony with each other and themselve. Well we can dream, right?!
Any way you look at it, the great debate of nature versus nurture can continue and you have to wonder what mark you will leave on your children?
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Health is not valued till sickness comes...
Illness and motherhood do not mix!
In previous years when illness struck me down and I was banished to my bed for a few days rest and recuperation the only people that suffered were my employers who had to manage without me for a few days.
However now that I have Emily, being ill just isn't an option! And so far I have managed really well in my efforts to avoid proper illness, however after 15 months it would seem that it is now catching up on me and dishing up a well overdue bout of sickness that in the last few weeks has included a stomach virus, swollen glands, sinus headache and now a cold and chesty cough. That's right I have endured at least 4 possibly even 5 separate episodes of illness in the last month! I'm so delirious with ill health that I have lost count. The most unfortunate being an allergic reaction to antihistamines (who knew that was even possible). My immune system is not just low, it would appear that it has packed up and gone on vacation without me! At least someone is getting a holiday this year.
The task of looking after a child whilst feeling like death warmed up, left to go cold and then re-heated again, is not a simple one. Emily is an extremely easy going child, however she is the type of little girl that requires constant stimulation of some kind. Most days we venture out on some adventure or another and spend much of our time keeping busy until the time when she will collapse into bed and I can pass out from exhaustion on the sofa, in front of Eastenders (after I have cooked the tea of course!).
She does not therefore understand why she is getting severely short-changed this week and feels that Ceebies is not really a suitable substitute for her mothers love and attention even if 'Something Special' has 'Mr Tumble'. All I can say is thank goodness for family, because without them this week I don't know how I would have coped. Once again I am eternally grateful for their support and in awe of parents that have to go it alone!
In previous years when illness struck me down and I was banished to my bed for a few days rest and recuperation the only people that suffered were my employers who had to manage without me for a few days.
However now that I have Emily, being ill just isn't an option! And so far I have managed really well in my efforts to avoid proper illness, however after 15 months it would seem that it is now catching up on me and dishing up a well overdue bout of sickness that in the last few weeks has included a stomach virus, swollen glands, sinus headache and now a cold and chesty cough. That's right I have endured at least 4 possibly even 5 separate episodes of illness in the last month! I'm so delirious with ill health that I have lost count. The most unfortunate being an allergic reaction to antihistamines (who knew that was even possible). My immune system is not just low, it would appear that it has packed up and gone on vacation without me! At least someone is getting a holiday this year.
The task of looking after a child whilst feeling like death warmed up, left to go cold and then re-heated again, is not a simple one. Emily is an extremely easy going child, however she is the type of little girl that requires constant stimulation of some kind. Most days we venture out on some adventure or another and spend much of our time keeping busy until the time when she will collapse into bed and I can pass out from exhaustion on the sofa, in front of Eastenders (after I have cooked the tea of course!).
She does not therefore understand why she is getting severely short-changed this week and feels that Ceebies is not really a suitable substitute for her mothers love and attention even if 'Something Special' has 'Mr Tumble'. All I can say is thank goodness for family, because without them this week I don't know how I would have coped. Once again I am eternally grateful for their support and in awe of parents that have to go it alone!
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
Love is a battlefield...
It would appear that my daughter, at the tender age of 14 ½ months, is learning to assert herself already. This has taken the form of refusing to eat pretty much anything I cook or put in front of her with the exception of cereal, cheese, yoghurt and strawberries! For her tea the other night she had Weetabix and banana and this was after I had offered her pork and apricot casserole, beans on toast (a former favourite) and bread and cheese spread. She would eat the cheese spread with breadsticks but I thought as a responsible mother this was hardly a suitable and sustainable meal.
My own mother has assured me that this is perfectly normal behaviour and upon further research I have found it is not uncommon in children her age. It is however extremely frustrating and wasteful. It is making meal-times unbelievably stressful for both of us and a once loved event has become something of a battle of wills. Hers mostly winning as I cannot force her to eat something that she won't but with the lists of things that she won't eat increasing daily I am starting to wonder what happens when I run out of options?!
Gavin does not fully understand the complexity of the situation as he is yet to witness her refusing some of her once favourite foods, in fact he flat out refuses to believe me when I tell him that she will no longer eat bake beans (that's how much she loved them up until a week ago). The whole family are having a hard time believing that overnight Emily has become so fussy, this was the little girl that used to cry if you took too long with the spoon between mouthfuls.
So I guess all I can do is ride out this latest storm and hope that it soon subsides, and when I do manage a small victory be grateful for the little things. Today she ate nearly a whole bowl of pasta and at least that's something right?!
My own mother has assured me that this is perfectly normal behaviour and upon further research I have found it is not uncommon in children her age. It is however extremely frustrating and wasteful. It is making meal-times unbelievably stressful for both of us and a once loved event has become something of a battle of wills. Hers mostly winning as I cannot force her to eat something that she won't but with the lists of things that she won't eat increasing daily I am starting to wonder what happens when I run out of options?!
Gavin does not fully understand the complexity of the situation as he is yet to witness her refusing some of her once favourite foods, in fact he flat out refuses to believe me when I tell him that she will no longer eat bake beans (that's how much she loved them up until a week ago). The whole family are having a hard time believing that overnight Emily has become so fussy, this was the little girl that used to cry if you took too long with the spoon between mouthfuls.
So I guess all I can do is ride out this latest storm and hope that it soon subsides, and when I do manage a small victory be grateful for the little things. Today she ate nearly a whole bowl of pasta and at least that's something right?!
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