Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Caution training in progress...

There are many things that we will have to master in our lives! 

We start of with the basics like, walking, talking, learning to dress ourselves or use a knife and folk when we eat so we don't end up wearing half of what we are eating. As we get bigger we move onto the harder stuff, reading, writing, making friends and riding a bike. And the older it gets the more complex it becomes, activities such as learning to drive, understanding that housework is a necessary evil unless you want to live in a squalid mess or (for some of us..ahem..not mentioning any names) with your parents till you are 28, we discover sex and relationships and all the complication that come with those. And eventually, if you grow up enough then one day you will maybe get married or have children, or both and end up having to do all these things again through someone else. And no I am not talking about your man (ha, ha...sorry fellas), I am of course talking about your children. 

I am currently in the process of potty training Emily and just the title suggests this is something that is Although I hadn't realised until now that it rather makes her sound like a dog.

"Is she house trained" people will ask,
"Well no not yet but we are working on it. Afterall you have to show them whose boss right?"
"Absolutely right! Can't have them peeing all over the place can we." 

Now this is a task that seem to have no set rules. Everyone talks about different methods, use a potty, don't use a potty go straight to toilet, use training pants, don't use training pants just normal knickers, they will tell you when they are ready, there are certain signals you can look for but remember every child is different. Somewhere between 18 months and 3 years they will be ready but it can be different for boys who are sometimes later bloomers but this isn't always necessarily the case. Don't push them if they are not ready but except that they should be day dry by at least the age of 3 and night dry by 4 but sometimes they will relapse due to illness, a new sibling, a change of house, a change of life-style, a change of environment. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I don't remember learning to use the toilet, obviously being too young and frustratingly even though my mother and mother in law have a total of six children between them cannot remember either. 
"I think it just kind of happened" they both tell me. So I feel like a blind woman stumbling around in a foreign place, full of people that don't know I am blind and keep bumping into me. Well something like get the idea. I guess, together, Emily and I will just figure it out like everything else and you know what give me potty training anyday over the impending 'Birds and Bees' chat or worst still the inevitable 'Why doesn't he love me back?' conversation! *Sigh*

Thursday, 9 June 2011

Are you smarter than a two year old?

So have you ever been in a shop, cafe, restaurant, supermarket, library or anywhere remotely public and your little angle has decided to choose that precise moment to have (the dreaded 'T' word) a tantrum? Yes...well join the club. 

Emily rarely bothers with tantrums at home because she has realised how ineffective they are in the home environment. Mainly because no-one will take the blindest bit of notice and it really doesn't matter if she trashes the whole house. We are parents afterall, disposable income has become a thing of the past and we no longer have anything of any value or if we do we aren't stupid enough to leave it lying around.

However Emily has realised that when we are out and about, potentially she has all the power, she holds all the cards. She knows that mummy will not just ignore her or walk away for fear that she could bring down a whole shelf of very expensive items mid tantrum (and as we have already established money is not something we have a great deal of...or any really *sigh*). So she has started to realise that in order to get things done, to get her own way or simply because she can, she will assert herself and her new found independence when we are out of the house.

Take today for example, after visiting the park and spending an hour swinging on the swings, sliding on the slide, climbing on...well the climbing wall, we met with my mum for a coffee. Emily attempted to crawl and climb all over my mother, whilst she was trying to drink a rather full, hot cup of coffee. My mother tried firmly to tell her to sit down but she just ignored her grandmothers pleas. So it was left to me to take her firmly and place her back down in her own seat, to which her response was screaming, crying and beating her fists against the chair, whilst people looked on in dismay. Obviously thinking me the worlds worst mother...I could see the inscription on my award...I could see it in their eyes!! 

So this is really the root of the problem isn't it. Children don't generally play up at home because mostly they won't get a response or if they do it normally results in the naughty step. However they have learnt that due to social conditioning we care a great deal about what others think of us, even if we try our best not to. So they know we will want to appear like a caring, concerned mother/father/parent, the kind that does not shout, that does not raise their voice or walk away exasperated at their two year old's behaviour. That pretty damn clever of them isn't it, considering most haven't learnt to talk properly yet or even use a toilet?! It's slightly worrying that the art of manipulation is learnt before our children can even communicate fully, before they learn to control their bowls, they learn to control their parents! 

So the solution? Well try not to care too much about what other people think I guess. Beside there are three types of people. The one's that have had children and understand completely, the one's that have had children but still judge you because well they think they are better than everyone else (and yes come on admit it we all know all one of those) and the ones that have not yet had children...but they will learn!