Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Self control? No madam I don't believe we stock that here...

Before I had Emily I always wondered how parents could go so overboard with their Christmas spending, if I'm honest I even judged (just a teeny, tiny bit). Their is nothing worse than a spoilt child! Always conjures up memories of Verruca from 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' and well we all know what happened to her. 

So although I still feel the same, I no longer judge because I now understand the inclination to give your child everything their little heart could wish for. It's like a gut reaction, you have no real control over your desire to make your little one(s) happy! We are of course constrained by other factors, such as a lack of endless supplies of cash and the fact that I may enjoy buying ridiculous amounts of presents, however I lack the same energy and enthusiasm to wrap all said presents. Of course their is always a way around these problems, credit cards and presents so big that wrapping them would be a complete waste of time. 

However it is scary that in the current economic crisis we can all still find the vast sums of money required to 'Do Christmas'. I overheard a news reporter relaying the fact that most people will do Christmas on credit this year as people are no longer saving. Well maybe that has to do with very few of us having any spare cash to save, that combined with the fact that most credit companies seem to be offering interest free on everything at the moment. I don't think I have made an interest payment on my credit card for at least the last 18 months. Although in our case the tax man is paying for our Christmas and our family holiday next year, thank you very much. A nice little rebate saw to that...don't you love it when they finally give something back. 

Anyway all of that said I am determined to practice some self-control and not rush from shop to shop, exclaiming in delight, 

"Ohhhhh Emily would love this, and this oohhh and this..." And every time I go shopping I am determined that NEXT TIME I will definitely succeed in my mission. Oh dear!

Thursday, 11 November 2010

The true meaning of 'mum'

Covered in vomit, scrubbing down a mattress and a cot at midnight.

Two and a half hours of enforced insomnia whilst trying to get my daughter to sleep in the bed with me. All the time hoping that when we do finally fall asleep, we aren't woken a hour later by a repeat performance of the midnight antics.  Not one of the nicer way to be woken..vomit in the face!

Giving up on trying to get my daughter to sleep and returning her to a freshly made up cot, wondering if you have any more spare blankets and bedding for a predicted repeat performance of the midnight antics.

Finally falling asleep to wake with a start an hour and a half later in a blind panic, wondering where your sleeping daughter has gone to (vision of her lying at the bottom of the stairs), until you remember that you put her back in her cot an hour and a half ago!

Check on sleeping daughter and go back to sleep for 3 and half hours before daughter wakes you at half seven, looking...well... just fine! CHILDREN!!!

Oh and Gavin was complaining because the washing machine was too noisy for him, whilst he slept in comfort and peace in the back bedroom! MEN!!!

Thursday, 4 November 2010

The times they are a changing...

So having made the decision to think about going back to work, imagine my surprise, when I was offered an interview on the first job that I applied for. Now thinking about something and the actually reality are two completely different things.

My first reaction to the news was sadness, that later lead to tears! Not normally the reaction that most potential employers would prefer. They expect you to have been in employment for at least 6 months before the depression and desperation kicks in! 

I just kept looking at my little girl and thinking I am not ready for this! I wish I had the option of working part-time to begin with, ease us both in to the transition. However in the current economic climate, there are a severe lack of full-time jobs let alone part-time ones.

So I can honestly say that despite the smile plastered to my face, I am heavy of heart. I know the pro's outweigh the con's, I know that she will adapt a whole lot quicker than me to this potentially new situation, I know that I have not even been offered the job yet, I know that even if I am offered the job I do not have to take it, I know that I can take the job and work my probation and if I don't like it I can leave! I know that the extra money would be a godsend as we are extremely stretched, I know that it would be great for Emily to be interacted with other children her own age in a stimulating environment that would encourage her development no end. I know all this but it doesn't change the fact that I feel like I am coming to the end of an era, a life changing era. And that working, will never be the same as it was before. I have different priorities now...