Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Thursday, 4 November 2010

The times they are a changing...

So having made the decision to think about going back to work, imagine my surprise, when I was offered an interview on the first job that I applied for. Now thinking about something and the actually reality are two completely different things.

My first reaction to the news was sadness, that later lead to tears! Not normally the reaction that most potential employers would prefer. They expect you to have been in employment for at least 6 months before the depression and desperation kicks in! 

I just kept looking at my little girl and thinking I am not ready for this! I wish I had the option of working part-time to begin with, ease us both in to the transition. However in the current economic climate, there are a severe lack of full-time jobs let alone part-time ones.

So I can honestly say that despite the smile plastered to my face, I am heavy of heart. I know the pro's outweigh the con's, I know that she will adapt a whole lot quicker than me to this potentially new situation, I know that I have not even been offered the job yet, I know that even if I am offered the job I do not have to take it, I know that I can take the job and work my probation and if I don't like it I can leave! I know that the extra money would be a godsend as we are extremely stretched, I know that it would be great for Emily to be interacted with other children her own age in a stimulating environment that would encourage her development no end. I know all this but it doesn't change the fact that I feel like I am coming to the end of an era, a life changing era. And that working, will never be the same as it was before. I have different priorities now...

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