Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Monday, 12 December 2011

Warning: The follow blog entry may not be for the faint hearted (i.e. men)

Today I have an appointment with the nurse to try and resolve a matter close to the heart of most parents (I should imagine), birth control. 

I am not a massive fan of the condom, male or otherwise. The male condom I find slightly repulsive, so not really the response aimed for when engaging in an intimate moment. It's the smell, the texture and the fact that they are slimy that make me feel uncomfortable. Not having ever tried the female condom, as the idea of placing what appears to be a small carrier bag (sandwich bag maybe) inside my person was not that appealing and physically, although not an impossibility, extremely difficult I should imagine, not to mention time-consuming and well I would imagine a big mood killer!

So I have, mostly, always used the combined pill, with the exception of a six month period after Emily was born when I had to use the mini pill because I was breast feeding. However it would seem that myself and Cilest no longer shared a love for each other as we had before. Now I have heard the many horror stories from friends and relations about the numerous pills they have had to consume in hope of finding one that suited them. I was lucky enough to find 'that' pill the first time around but not anymore. Somewhere between my early twenties and post- Emily, Cilest and I have become incompatible. Oh the horror and the utter intolerance of it all!

See to say I was slightly testy in the lead up to my monthly visitor would, probably, if I'm honest, be an understatement. I was MONSTROUS! I adopted a vile, demonic, totally rageful alter-ego. I was so bad that even I didn't want to spend time with me during these periods (haaaa no pun intended), however being unfortunately unable to remove myself from my own skin, I was stuck with me. It was like the Jekyll and Hyde of Junction Road. So having removed myself 'post haste' from this pill, I am now stuck in the land of no birth control!

Having visited the nurse last week I was given another type, Microgynon, which I am informed by everyone I know and nearly all birth control forums, is the devil incarnate in the form of a contraceptive pill! My friend told me it turned her into a raving lunatic!

"OHHH great" was Gavin's reponse upon hearing this news. "So they take you off one pill that is making you insane and decide to give you one that will make you worse, that's just great isn't it?! And a typical example of what our National Health Service has come to"

'Well okay honey I didn't think it was that bad?'
"Hmmm" was his response. So....Clearly it was THAT bad then!

And well it must have been that bad as he begged me not to take the new pill until after Christmas. 
"Let's just have a nice Christmas" he pleaded with a look of intense fear and desperation in his eyes! 
"Well okay then" I conceded, not wanting to be the Grinch that stole Christmas. 

So anyway I am going back to the nurse this afternoon to plead my case. I quite like being relatively normally all month, not just for 21 days of it! And if you ever needed any proof that the pill was causing the insanity and it wasn't just 'me', bless my soul neither of us even knew I was due on last month. It was only when I went to the toilet and discovered the truth did I actually laugh to myself. And upon hearing this news Gavin said, 
"Well who would have known, you been quite nice recently" Cheers, thanks darling...

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