Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Monday, 1 August 2011

It's not who you are that holds you back...'s who you think you're not.

Life can be mighty difficult at times and no more so then when you are a parent. For me being a mother is a mind field of potentially hazardous or disastrous situations and then there are all the insecurities I collect along the way.

This may be just my experiences as a first time mother but it seems that you cannot help but compare your child to others around you. Although logically you know that all children develop at different stages and we all excel in certain areas more so than others, it's hard to think that your child could ever be bad at anything. Any failure they encounter you take as your own! Which can start to make you feel very overwhelmed and slightly inadequate when you add their failings to your own.  

Take potty training for example. Emily was really struggling last week and I started to ask myself why was I making such a big deal out of this? She is only just two and is obviously not ready. And whilst talking to my mum and Gavin I realised that I was pressurising her because I feel pressure from society to make my daughter conform. I worry that somehow I am failing as a mother because I cannot make my daughter understand that she needs to do a poo on the potty. I then realised that it is ridiculous to put such pressure on myself, especially over things I have no control over. As both my mother and Gavin pointed out this is something that Emily will have to do alone. She is the one controlling her body and I am a mere spectator guiding her through, simply providing her with the necessary equipment for the job in hand, i.e. the potty.

Once this realisation hit me it was like a wave of relief for both of us. I stepped back and stopped trying to control the situation and allowed my daughter to take control. Which to my surprise she did when on a number of occasions she took her nappy off and sat on her potty delighting in watching herself wee. Aren't they so funny small children, every new experience is a wonder to behold. I wish as adults we were still able to view the world in this way, although I'm not sure I need to watch myself pee. That might be a step too far! 

No comments:

Post a Comment