Whenever my mother has gone for a job interview and they asked her what is her greatest achievement she has always said the same thing...being a mum. So are our children really our greatest achievement? Is parenthood the ultimate challenge?
Well I guess for me it is. It's the hardest job I have ever had to do! Not so much because the hours suck, the pay is abominable and your boss is just damn right childess most of the time (she jests). It's because unlike most other jobs I have done I actually really care about this one. I actually want to be the best that I can be at being a mum. That doesn't mean that it's the only thing I want to be and I certainly don't think that being a mum is the only thing that defines me but it's a huge part of who I am now. When I look at my life so far I may have to say in all fairness and honestly that Emily is the greatest thing I have done to date.
And when I look at the parents around me, people I know, I can see it in them too. We sacrifice so much of ourselves for our children. You cannot understand what it is to be a parent until you become one yourself. You think you understand but you have no idea, you have no concept of how it will change you in all the expected and unexpected way. People literally transform and I have seen it right before my very eyes in the people that I know. People who appeared hopeless will rise to the challenge like never before.
Sometimes people will even forgo their own happiness to make their children happy. They will put up with incredible sadness and loneliness to put their children first and do what they perceive to be the right thing. And that kind of sacrifice is not to be taken lightly. Some may call it martyrdom but I like to think of it as the ultimate in parenting. And to those people living through this I say I hope you find your happiness one day. I hope one day it is your turn...
I don't read your blog nearly enough and I should it's all so true.
ReplyDeleteDo you remember my take on having a child though, the selfishness aspect? I think pretty much no-one took it seriously except me. I wasn't being difficult for the sake of it (like I so often am). For me it was the absolute and undeniable truth and I can't remember anyone giving a valid counter argument.
When Ellie became pregnant, there were a few people that were pretty pleased to rub my opinion back in my face and I certainly appreciate the hypercritical situation I'd created for myself but I just remained stoic and reserved judgement.
Now, 16 months into being a father, I've had a fair amount of time to reflect and I still feel the same way. Yes, life changes more than anyone can imagine. Yes, everyday appears to be a sacrifice for the sake of the child. I always come back to the same point though, it was our decision to have a child and so we deserve every tear and lost minute of sleep we get. It's karmic really.
Anyway, keep up the great blog-age. I hope this gives you a little food for thought.