Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Friday, 30 September 2011

So whose the adult in this relationship?

Having to be the 'adult' all the time is actually really hard! That's what being a parent is about right? You are the adult to their child but sometimes we don't always react like the adult. If anything having children can sometimes bring out the child in you. 

At certain times of the month I find I am less able to cope with it all and yes I imagine those moments probably do coincide with changes in my hormone levels. I am not going to pretend that I am not a slave to my hormones because unfortunately I am. It's not something that I welcome or enjoy but it's as inevitable as the ebb and flow of the tides so I just grin and bear it. However I find at these times that my temper is quicker and my tears flow more freely. Very much like my two year old daughter. 

This morning we were butting heads, as per usual and as per usual she lashed out at me because she was frustrated. She slapped me across the face and for a split second I could have slapped her back. Of course I didn't but instead I just started to cry and she obviously thinking it very funny, laughed at me. So rather than just placing her on the naughty step and explaining to her (for the hundred time) why it is not acceptable to hit mummy, I simply walked out the room. This caused her to burst into floods of tears. And it struck me at that precise moment that I wasn't sure who was the adult anymore? 

We are of course friends again now and I except that I am not the 'perfect mother', not that I ever thought I was. Also I except that there will be times when I don't always feel like being the 'adult', similar to that feeling you get when your are ill and all you want is your mum, even if we are 30 and a mum yourself!  I just try my very best and sometimes that isn't always good enough but it is all I have to offer and I challenge anyone to give more than their best. And besides it is in these moments when daddies have to step up and take control, well providing you can convince them to leave the comfort of their bed before the alarm clock is due to go off (another constant battle in our house). In fact there are moments in the month when I realise that there are no adults left in our house, just two toddlers and a teenager!

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