Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Better to remain silent...

...and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

There are certain things that you should never say to a pregnant woman, here are a few of the worst. Learn them, know them, never say them or fear the wrath of the one with child!

Wow you are massive: No pregnant woman ever wants to hear this, no matter how true it may be. Of course we are massively, enormously huge...we are carrying a our belly!! 

Was it planned? Firstly mind your own business and secondly what does it matter, it is wanted and loved and that's the most important thing. 

Will you be getting married (only applies if you are not already married, obviously). We may, we may not but what does that have to do with having a baby? We are not living in the 1950's you know.

Are you sure you should be eating that second bacon sandwich, you will only regret it later when you are trying to lose your baby weight? Do you have any idea what I have given up for this baby already? No drinking, no smoking, no caffine, no soft cheese, smoked salmon or smoke meat, in fact pretty much all my of my favourite foods. Pi*s off and stop raining on the only pleasure I have left, beside haven't you heard the phrase eating for two?!

It could be twins you know, it happened on 'Friends', the scans might be wrong the other one might have been hiding. Hey maybe it's triplets, ha, ha, ha. 
 Are you serious?! Why are saying this to me? What is wrong with you, do you hate me or something? Listen the thought of pushing out one baby is scary enough, why are talking about the possibility of more than one?!
(Turns to phone and makes a quick call to her midwife) "Do you think I could get another scan, just as a precaution, no, but you are absolutely sure that there is only one baby in there, right?"

Just some of the little beauties that I had to endure.

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